This is too hard for me, and not in a good way!

OK, seriously, how do people do this?  Every time I start trolling through my "matches" I find that the worst, most judgmental version of myself takes over.  Imagine if Sybil tried online dating.  Below are some of the thoughts that spring to mind...

• Too short
• Really?  That's the best picture you could find of yourself?
• Do you own even ONE shirt with sleeves?
• Looks old enough to be my father.
• Looks young enough to be my son.
• Do you KNOW how to smile?
• You're a tool/douchebag/smug asshole/cocky SOB/creeper/etc.
• How much product is IN your hair?

And anyone whose profile name includes the words hot, handsome, cool, doctor, soft hands, etc., immediately gets categorized in the tool/douchebag/smug asshole/cocky SOB/creeper bucket.  Sadly, that rules out quite a few of them...

Of course, most of those thoughts/comments are my insecurity talking, because the other voice in my head is saying...

• He's cute, but he viewed my profile and didn't contact me, which means he's CLEARLY not interested, so I can't contact him (i.e. I'm a hideous troll and not good enough)
• He wants someone who's slender or athletic and toned, and I'm not, so I might as well not even bother (i.e. I'm a fat, hideous troll and not good enough)
• He wants someone who has her act together and I'm still gathering all the parts of mine (i.e. I'm a spastic moron and not good enough)

And I'm really not that insecure - about average on the insecurity scale.  I like myself - quite a bit, in fact.  I think I'm a good person, reasonably attractive, reasonably together, funny, minimal baggage, with maybe a sad lack of fashion sense, but all-in-all, I'd put myself in the "good catch" category.  I have great kids, a great family, and tons of great friends who think I'm pretty awesome.  Some who even think I'm more awesome than I think I am.  And meeting new people is something I enjoy.  I'm comfortable in my own skin.  So I ask again...how do people do this?  I know it can be done.  My ex met his fiancee online. I have a friend who met her husband online, she even moved from another state so they could be together.  And I don't get how they did it...  Are/were they more open than I am?  Are/were they less judgmental/insecure than I am?  Am I doing it wrong?